Tag Archives: Citizen Schwartz

Citizen Special: Ask An N.R.A. Landlord

“Fix Your Door Lock!?  Broken Locks Don’t Cause Crimes, People Do” Dear Unit 3: Got your messages about the busted lock on the front door.  All of them.  You don’t need to nag.  I was going to get around to … Continue reading

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Peter Jackson to Direct Epic 10-Part Film Series Based on Children’s Classic “Goodnight Moon”

(LOS ANGELES) Peter Jackson may still be in post-production on the final installment of his three-part, nine-hour film version of the 250 page children’s classic “The Hobbit,” but it seems the prolific director has no interest in taking a break … Continue reading

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Nation Reels as Rush Limbaugh Revealed to Be 30 Year Long Andy Kaufman Prank

(PALM BEACH, FLA) When Rush Limbaugh’s official publicist announced the conservative pundit would be hosting a nationally televised press event Monday morning, everyone knew something big was coming.  But nobody knew how big. Walking up to the microphone after a … Continue reading

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