Tag Archives: GOP

**BREAKING NEWS ** DONALD TRUMP’S HAIR-PIECE HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM “RACIST ENTREPRENEUR”

“You Can’t Combover Racism!  The ugliness is just too big!” Declares Longtime Trump Companion (NY, NY) Earlier today, an unexpected voice joined the cavalcade of businesses and private citizens seeking to unambiguously distance themselves from Donald Trump.  Corporations with ties to Trump ventures … Continue reading

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SENATOR WHO RECENTLY DISCOVERED HE HAS AN UNINSURED, CHRONICALLY ILL, IMPOVERISHED, GAY, IMMIGRANT, AFRICAN AMERICAN SON WHO WAS TRAGICALLY GUNNED DOWN AT A SCHOOL SHOOTING MAKES SUDDEN U-TURN ON SEVERAL KEY ISSUES

Senator Richard Starboard (R – Montana) announced a sudden u-turn on issues relating to health care, immigration, the social safety net, gay rights and gun control today after discovering the existence and tragic death of his son Tyrell Javier Fernando … Continue reading

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DICK MORRIS FIRED FROM E! ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION AFTER PREDICTING BIG OSCAR WIN FOR MITT ROMNEY

(LOS ANGELES, CA) Dick Morris appears to be back on the job market after the Conservative Pundit’s short stint on E! Entertainment Television came to a rather abrupt end late Wednesday evening when he predicted that former Republican Presidential Candidate … Continue reading

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GOP REVEALS NEW “COMPREHENSIVE” LATINO STRATEGY: PAUL RYAN NOW INTO ZUMBA

 LUNTZ ANNOUNCES MOVE TO LATIN DANCE-FITNESS AT MAJOR PRESS CONFERENCE (WASHINGTON, D.C.) In recent weeks, moderate Republicans have been hard at work trying to craft a new strategy to decrease the Democratic Party’s overwhelming advantage within the American Latino community.  … Continue reading

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Nation Reels as Rush Limbaugh Revealed to Be 30 Year Long Andy Kaufman Prank

(PALM BEACH, FLA) When Rush Limbaugh’s official publicist announced the conservative pundit would be hosting a nationally televised press event Monday morning, everyone knew something big was coming.  But nobody knew how big. Walking up to the microphone after a … Continue reading

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